Mornings
by lcbeastly
Summary: the Morning after musings of Ichigo Kurosaki in the early morning - This small woman is mine. Even just for a few hours in the dead of night. Even if it's only in the shadows where secrets thrive and sins are alive. She is mine. Even if there's no one to hear me say it, she is mine.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: the Morning after musings of Ichigo Kurosaki in the early morning. _This small woman is mine. Even just for a few hours in the dead of night. Even if it's only in the shadows where secrets thrive and sins are alive. She is mine. Even if there's no one to hear me say it, she is mine._

**Disclaimer**: Bleach does not belong to me. I just love it.

Hope you enjoy it and tell me what you think. Thank you.

* * *

Sometimes I wake up to the reality that this is never going to last. No, not like this. To be more precise, I won't last like this.

As I turn my head to face her - watch her still closed eyes - I am amazed at how we ended up this way. Rays of sunlight escape from the blinds, the sun I just about to rise and is highlighting her silhouette. A small halo forming on her head of dark raven hair. She's never really gentle when she's awake; which brings a smile to my face. Always yelling, screaming, and nagging me but that's alright. I can take the beating because that means I'm on her mind (even though I'll never tell her that). She stirs just a little bit when I comb my fingers through a few stray strands of her hair.

As much as I love her deep violet eyes, I don't want this to end. When she wakes up, everything will go back to "what it should be" as she calls it. A lie that is what this will go back to. I don't want to continue on this mundane existence when I know where I should be. It's ridiculous when I really think about it. Where I belong is in the afterlife. My life's purpose is served when I'm dead. Seventeen and all I can think about is death.

I know I'll never hear the end of it from her if I get into an "accident" and die. Then, she'll go on and on and on about wanting me to have a full life. When will she learn, it's in the moments we have together - whether it's fighting hollows, 3rd period algebra, or crazy Kurosaki family style dinner - that I am living a full life; as long as we're together. But she always wants to do the right thing.

She'll never stop blaming herself for any of the shit in my life since we met. This will just add to the burden she puts on herself. I never blamed her for all the fighting I had to do. In fact, I don't think I will ever thank her enough for giving me the power to protect and for making me the man I am today. The cuts and the bruises will never compare to the satisfaction of knowing you've kept your family safe.

Before I know it, insanely huge violet eyes are already watching me. Getting out of my musings just long enough to notice her.

"Morning sleepy head. I thought you'd never wake up." I say.

"And good morning to you too, Ichi-berry." and so the normal banter ensues. We never really were like a normal couple. None of that lovey dovey stuff they show on TV. We just have this deep deep very deep understanding of one another.

"I wish you wouldn't do that." I say as she gets up, already picking up her clothes scattered around the floor. "...not so soon," I add.

"Well, if I don't your sisters will wake up to my empty and a lot of questions we can't answer will follow; which will reach your dad and more questions from him not to mention what he'll blab to Urahara. Then, to whomever the hell keeps tabs on you or me from Soul Society. We've talked about this."

I welcome the silence that follows her little monologue. I don't dare answer for fear that this will just escalate to a full blown argument. Yes, there has been talk but not much of the 'we' part.

"You know, Ichigo, this is getting repetitive. You already know why we can't be with each other publicly. Shinigami and human relationships are forbidden. Who knows what they'll think of doing this time when they find out."

Yes, I know. And it still breaks my heart every damn time. Don't you know how badly I want to shout it out to the world that I love you - that you're mine just as much as I am yours. Who the hell cares if you're already dead and I'm not. I think I've saved enough pompous asses from soul society enough times to merit some sort of freedom to be with you. This is probably the only battle I haven't won - not with all my powers and all my past victories – and you make me feel like I'm never going to succeed. Don't you trust me, trust us to keep fighting.

But not a sound leaves my lips.

"I don't want a fight so early in the morning after such a wonderful night." She pauses a little bit to look at me, and continues, "yes, it was magical but don't let it get to your head 'cause I'm never going to say it again." She emphasizes by pointing a finger at me.

"Well, it already is going to my 'head'." I say suggestively.

She just throws my pants at me and adds "pervert." But I can hear rush of blood to her cheeks to form that slight blush. It's a good distraction to avoid the argument we would have had.

When I pull the garment of my face, I see she's already done getting dressed. She's wearing the white spaghetti strapped nightie - with Chappy designs of course - she had on last night. She stops by the small mirror to check for any visible marks that would need hiding and to mess up her hair just enough to get rid of that morning after look but still messy to pass for a just got out of bed look.

She already has her hand on the door when I say, "I'll wait then. 'Til you're ready to let me fight for you."

I can only hope that's enough for her because for me waiting has never been one of my strong points.

This small woman is mine. Even just for a few hours in the dead of night. Even if it's only in the shadows where secrets thrive and sins are alive. She is mine. Even if there's no one to hear me say it, she is mine. For now, I will just have to suck it up and wait for the day I can shout it out to the whole three dimensions.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: **Part 2 of Mornings - musings of Ichigo Kurosaki during 8am to 5pm and some thoughts on the mundane.

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Bleach but I still love it!

**Author's Notes: **To be honest, I had no real intention with this story. i just wrote down things that came to mind. Mornings is my first shot at writing and publishing. Most of the time, I just think and think and think. But I hope you like this one. I'm a little 50/50 on it. Thank you for reading (and reviewing if you have the time.) 3

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School. That's probably the only thing left in my life that is certain. I wake up and get out of bed. Take a shower. Put on my school uniform. Eat breakfast and then head to school. Before all this shinigami business, what comes after school would be more schooling in med school. After I graduate, it would be time to learn from the clinic to someday take over it. perhaps a few years after that, it would be time to get married to a nice kind and very loving girl I meet in med school and start a family. Nothing fancy really.

Sometimes I miss that certainty. I know the path I am to take and where I'm going. But with the arrival of this little minx in my life, nothing can ever be the same again.

It's a welcome break though. The mundane life of an average high school student reminds me of how different we still are. For me there's homework, pop quizzes, projects, attendance. For her, she'll just copy stuff from me. Although she can do well on her own, she's proven that much from her slightly above average test scores. It's trivial to the life she has as a protector of souls.

On our way, one morning, to school, I asked her, "Why do you even go to school? You can just hide out in my room all day and pick me up when there's a hollow you need help with. I have Kon's pill with me and I can just get one of those phones of yours."

She contemplates for a minute before she responds, "Yes, we could do that. But school is fun. I didn't get to enjoy much of the Academy." she pauses just a bit before she continues, as if wondering if she could share her thoughts with me. "I had no one then. Renji was there but we were on different levels and he had his own friends. When I was adopted by the Kuchikis, things only got worse. In your school, I am among friends and no pressure at all. And it makes me feel like we could actually work." she adds the last part in a hushed voice but I still caught it.

"Well that's good then. If I have to suffer through pop quizzes while balancing hollow patrol, then so should you. Not enough beauty sleep for the both of us." I try to insert some jest to this conversation. It's too early for this little Bunny to be in bad spirits.

To be honest, I don't know much about her life in Soul Society, especially not about her past. We don't discuss the past all that much. Maybe it's because our backgrounds are too different. Her life there is something I will not totally understand and will just be a reminder of the life she has to go back to. The same goes for me. Someday, I'll be alone and stuck in the life she'll leave behind. What we have is now. There's no yesterday or tomorrow. There's only now. Well, I've always been good at just winging it.

When we reach the campus, it's back to the routine. greetings from our friends - a pretty loud one from Tatsuki, a silent nod from Chad, a brief eye contact with Ishida, and an annoying sprint towards Rukia from Keigo which I of course met with foot to the face. Although none of our circle of friends knows that there's something between us, I'm sure some of the more perceptive ones have their guesses but they don't say anything.

Our seat in the back is actually a good place for pop quizzes. As I said, she just copies from me and that includes pop quizzes from time to time. I cannot for the life of me understand how her cheating skills can actually work. It's nothing fancy really. She just sneaks a PEAK at my paper when the sensei's not looking. Sometimes she grabs the paper clean off my desk when the answers are too long and puts it back when she's done. Seriously, there's something wrong with the world because it cannot be normal how often she has escaped doing all these.

"One of these days, Kuchiki Rukia, you will be caught red-handed and will suffer for all the times you've cheated. The punishment will be severe." I tell her, trying to be as menacing as I can.

but she turns to face me wearing the most adorable and innocent face she could muster and in the most sickeningly sweet voice she responds, "why Kurosaki-kun, I have no idea what it is you mean." she adds a flutter of those impossibly long eyelashes framing the plate-sized violet pools of her to complete the look like icing to a cake.

I am speechless really. Moments like these catch me off guard but I can't let her know that or else she'll use it against me. I am not sure if she really knows how much power she has over me but I don't want to add Cuteness Overload to that arsenal.

"Whatever. You'll get yours one of these days." I reply in the most annoyed voice I can do, add a scowl, and then look away - trying to hide my blush and my boner.

Lunch is a pretty standard affair. Our usual spot is on the roof or in the grounds on the right side of the campus where the trees provide the most shade. Sometimes we're all sitting together but other times the girls form their own circle and we men are left to our own devices. In the circle, I look to my right and see her opening bento box an identical to mine. It makes me think of it as something she as my good wife worked through the night to prepare to make sure I have a healthy and balanced meal for the day. She can cook. She made some dish when the old man and the twins were out one weekend. When I asked her about it, she responds, "A Kuchiki lady is equipped with any and all the skills needed to manage and to take care of a household." to be honest, she wasn't half bad at it. she can't make anything astounding like Yusuf can but with some time and a reason to learn (like a hungry husband and children - ahem, like me), she can be better. Although I know Yuzu made our lunches, a man can dream can't he.

Yup, school is mundane. But I enjoy the hope - the illusion - it gives us. It makes me think that we can live on as normal people in this world. That my dreams or rather my path before we met as human and as shinigami can still be a reality but this time with her in it – to share the certain future with me. Maybe we can go off to college. I will go to med school while she enters an art school. Of course, we'll both be in Tokyo for that where all the good schools are. With the money I'll be making as a doctor I can support her and her passions for art (although I still call it crap) or any other field she would want to get into. After college and some experience in the city, we can go back to Karakura. I'll take over the clinic. We'll get married and start our own family. I wish it were so simple.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters but I will always love them. Unless it turns out to be an IchiHime. Heheheh ;)

Author's Notes: I am SO sorry for the delay in following up with the Mornings series. My laptop decided to make life difficult for me. I love you all, especially those who took the time to leave me reviews, messages or just comments. THANK YOU! 3

Summary: After a day's work, a home provides comfort and leaves Ichigo to his musings.

* * *

I am tempted a lot of times to just reach out and touch her.

Walking home from school, we are usually with the whole group leaving the classroom and the school grounds. Mizuiro is the first to go. Just out the school gate and he's off to another date. Keigo follows him in the same direction. Down the first intersection, we part ways with Chad. Most of the time he heads to his house first before heading to where his band plays. Straight and left at the second corner, we say goodbye to Ishida. His house is on the Karakura version of the Uppereast side but where he runs off to the other times I don't know nor care. He's a big boy and can handle himself. But I am guessing all he does on those other times is train. We're with Tatsuki and Inoue the longest. Tatsuki walks Inoue home before heading to the dojo.

Soon enough we're alone. Walking down the quiet streets of sub-urban Karakura. A few kids playing around here and there. Moms coming home from the grocery. A few guys getting out of work and headed home just as we are.

I turn to look at her a little and she's just walking silently. When we're with the others, she's lively but not too rowdy. She's not one to initiate the conversation or stray it but she injects her opinion when it counts. One of the loudest to laugh actually if its something silly especially if it involves some form of torture on my part. But when it's just the two of us - away from prying eyes and gossiping mouths - sometimes we enjoy the silence. Just taking it all in.

A big part of our relationship is based on the silence. I'm not saying I'm against it. I wouldn't have it any other way because, to be honest, I'm not one who enjoys those lengthy conversations myself. Ask anyone really. People get the message from a scowl, a nod, and a shrug. I'm not trying to be macho or anything like that. I'm just more comfortable that way. Thinking about this reminds me of how we got together in the first place.

(FLASHBACK)

After the surprise attack by Grimmjow and his cronies, Rukia had to rest a lot. We took her to Urahara's to get her reiatsu healed up much faster than it would if she stayed at my house in her gigai. That meant, Chappy had to do a lot of personality modification. We made up this story that Rukia's suffering from insane cramps that's why she had to stay at home and the room mostly.

Today is the first day, the Midget is coming home from her rest at the Shoten. And frankly, I'm nervous as hell. The look of disappointment on her face I won't be able to handle it.

A knock on the window and I see Tessai. This immediately makes me think, "did something happen to Rukes?" But as I approach the window I spot her beside the large man. You just couldn't see her through the window frame from where I stood moments ago.

Tessai moves to let Rukia through. "Delivered safe and sound," he says with a thumbs.

I could hear my heart beat in my ear - drowning out all sound. My throat is clogged with my own nervousness; in a little bit I'm quite sure I'll be choking on my own fear. She enters the room. Thanking Tessai before closing the window.

Once Tessai is out of view, she continues to stare out the window. I stood motionless really. Our eyes haven't met since she got here and that's driving me nuts. Whether it's from fear or excitement, I can't tell just yet.

"I..." don't know what to say really. But she begins to turn, cutting off anything I might say and all blood to my brain.

Violet. The thought of never seem them again crossed my mind when Grimmjoww attacked her. I would just be part of a memory. Her hair with that weird bang - I would have liked to see her grow it out. Her small frame, child-like, true, but with the grace of a lady. When I think of what I'd miss the most, if she didn't make it that night, memories of her flash through my mind. From the first time we met, Seireitei, Huenco Mundo, school, all of those memories just make my heart ache. I'd miss my memories of her and that I'd never be able to make new ones.

We won't be graduating high school together. We won't be going on vacations with the gang and picnics with the family. Moving to the city for college would be out of the picture. I was hoping we could get a small place there. I doubt she can really make it through all the college classes without a little assistance especially since she missed Human World Primary and a lot of Secondary school. College fairs, trips back to Karakura, hollow fighting of course are all part of that future. And eventually, a family of our own - together - isn't even the end of it. I can just imagine how our kids are gonna look like.

These things will never come to pass, if I lost her.

[You know, they would never come to pass even now.] Don't know if that's my own conscience or the old man giving me his two cents. But he's right, those things are part of a future that's still only possible.

I lunge at her. Pulling her into a tight embrace and falling slightly on the bed. Not my intention really, any of the innuendos that come with that. I don't how long we just hugged there but I know for sure my face is so hot from embarrasment.

"...o-oi, Ichigo~!" she stammers a little bit but I just hug her even tighter.

She seems to take that as an indication of keeping quiet a little bit. She knows I want to say something - probably explain why I'm hugging her back to near death.

I take a breath. I know what I want to say, what I want to happen to us but no words to go with it. So, I just wing it. I loosen my grip a little and move my head to the side and sniff-kiss her hair.

"This is probably the only time I will have the courage to say and do all this." I take a deep breath inhaling her scent and releasing all the tension from this moment. "But, Rukia Kuchiki, you have changed my life. Like some anvil falling on my head, it takes this heinous event to remind me not to be complacent. In the life we have - what we do as Shinigamis - I can lose you at any moment. Some punk hollow can kill you. Seireitei can keep you locked away. And whatever entity there is out that wants this world can come between us. So, from now on every moment is a gift."

I pull away from her, at arms length and look into her eyes. They're wide and confused and slightly brimming with fluid. Her mouth agape a bit, unsure what to say but I'm not done.

"Every scolding I get from you, every beating you give me, every quiet moment we just spend with each other. They're gifts that I'll always treasure. Nearly losing you made me realize that I can't wait. I have to take action if I want my dreams to come true. You can't leave me yet without you knowing that-" I gulp. I have this brief moment when my words are caught in my throat and fear creeps up my body for a second before I squash it down. So, I say with a truly happy smile. "-that I love you. I don't want another moment to pass without you knowing that. Before anything else is said or done, and I'm not even sure how this is supposed to happen technically speaking, I love you it's that simple."

At last, I can breathe a sigh of relief. As Mark Twain did say, best of all the arts. Honesty really is, but he's still only second to Shakespeare to me. Then, I realize Rukia hasn't said anything yet. I look up to her. It's still the same bewildered expression on her face. I guess that means I got shot down, huh. Then, out of nowhere, I see a tiny hand flying across my face giving me a face rearranging slap.

"Ow! What the hell woman? What was that for? I just told you I love you and you give me a slap. You could've just rejected me and left out the violence."

Her expression changes a little. It turns into the calm and actually very cute expression of someone who just realized something.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you were in a very sane state of mind. And I didn't reject you idiot. I was just checking. I love you too you know."

"Making sure? Of what really? That my face is stuck to my head? What kind of-" Did she really just say she loves me too? In my mind, there are little chibi Ichigos running around trying to figure out if we really heard right.

[Yes, you did dumbass. She said she loves you. Now, let's get to the boinking part! I can very much take over since you're such a pussy to give her the ride of her life]

[NO FUCKING WAY! You freak! You ain't touching Rukia, EVER!]

"You-You really... Did you really just say you, you love me too?" And before I could react, I get another earth rattling slap to the other side of my face.

"Yes, I did, idiot. Gods, you're making this so embarrassing with your idiocy." She crosses her arms across her chest and harumphs as she looks away with a tinge of pink on her cheeks.

Like a little child, I lunge at her again. Pushing us onto the bed while I give her a bone shattering hug. I couldn't be happier.

(END OF FLASHBACK)

That was probably the longest conversation we had about our feelings for each other. Ever since then, I think, we felt no need to constantly reassure each other with words how much we love the other. Looking at the kind of people we are, words are full of meaning and not said lightly. We love each other and that's it. Should there be a time when we don't feel the same anymore, I think... No, actually, I strongly believe that such a time would never come to pass.

We reach the front door and it seems we're the only ones missing from chaos that is the Kurosaki household.

Heading to my room, we change into casual clothes, first a quick bath for me, before getting some homework done. This homework time translates to me doing it all while Rukia reads manga or sketches. It's not such a bother actually. I've done my own homework for almost a decade already. She just copies it after I'm done with mine. So, there's not much trouble on my part. And besides, if I get all the homework done early, there's more time for me to get a very nice reward.

"Onii-san, Rukia-nee, dinner is ready." Yuzu calls by the stairs.

As we head down the stairs, the Old man and the twins are already seated in the table. Rukia and I sit together on the same side of the table.

"Itadakimasu!"

Rice, beef with vegetables and a rich soup is what Yuzu prepared for tonight. A hearty dinner for the family.

I wonder what would our dinners be like with Rukia as the cook. I cringe a little at the thought. She doesn't have a desireable track record in our kitchen. Hahahah, but still I would like that. In our household, Rukia will be a stay at home mother (no matter how much she will protest at being put on the sidelines of hollow fighting.). Taking care of our kids, making sure they have their packed lunches before going to the academy. (They have those things in Seireitei, right. I just don't know how early they start. Wait a minute can I have children with a ghost?! But, going back to my fantasy.) Although I'm sure the Kuchiki fortune can provide helpers for household chores, I'm pretty sure Rukia would insist on doing them herself. When I get back from work, the same hearty dinner will be waiting for me, with our kids chatting nonstop about their day from the academy. That would be really nice.

"Think fast, SON!" Snapping me out of my reverie a little too late, I have my father's knuckles on the back of my head.

"Ohohoho, my poor son is not yet a man enough. Masaki what have I done wrong?!"

With matching river of tears from my father, this is probably the one thing I'll leave out in my and Rukia's family.


End file.
